Your Therapy Survival Guide
- Tesia Bryski
- Apr 22
- 7 min read
By Cassie Connor, MACP, C-IAYT, RP (Qualifying).
Hello lovelies,
If you are in therapy or are curious about therapy — settle in. I’ve got some insider tips for you. Healing can feel like climbing a mountain sometimes. The view is tremendous, but the trip can be challenging and even treacherous at times. Here are some ways that you can support yourself amidst (and survive) your healing journey.
Unless you do know me, I’m a stranger on the internet, so please — see what is helpful for you, and leave the rest. These are general ideas and some may not apply to you. Please seek individualized mental health treatment and contact 911/crisis lines whenever urgent support is needed.
Firstly, if you’re wondering how anyone is affording therapy in the first place:
I hear you. Therapy can easily cost $600-$1,000/month and most of us are just trying to make rent and groceries right now.
I dream of a world where mental healthcare is considered… well, healthcare, and thus covered for all of us who need it… But here’s what we can do in the meantime.
You may be able to access affordable therapy by seeing a therapy intern. We are supervised by more seasoned therapists, who help us plan the direction of your care and make suggestions when we get stuck. You can check with your local mental health and psychology clinics to see if they have any intern therapists, and give yourself permission to meet a few to see who you connect with most. I’d recommend looking for someone with some experience in the field of mental health (yes, you can ask us this). At Shine, we'll have interns from the University of Ottawa between September - April yearly, so please feel free to reach out!
Some therapists do also offer a sliding scale, and this may be especially doable for them for online therapy (eg. less overhead costs).
There are also resources that are at least in part publicly funded, they just may require some digging. You may need to join a waitlist, so try to get on there sooner than later.
If you can’t afford/gain access to weekly therapy, consider attending biweekly, monthly, or even seasonally. All of your steps up the mountain count (+ read on for tips to make the most of your sessions).
I’ve used services like betterhelp, and I can’t recommend them, for reasons like this, among others :(.
As you’re beginning the process of therapy:
In the beginning of the process, you and your therapist are getting to know each other. You can share both your strengths and challenges, because they both matter for the road ahead. You might be ready (and very much needing) to spill the beans, but you are also free to take your time sharing the more sensitive topics while you get to know your therapist.
The most important thing to feel into is whether or not this therapist is the right one for you (even if your therapist is me!). Do you feel heard? Do you feel that you can share openly? Therapists are people too — meaning you will connect with some more than others. We tend to vary in our approach to mental illness and life challenges because we may have different understandings about what causes and alleviates suffering. And - sometimes we get it wrong!
Please know, you can correct us - but if the support you’re receiving is consistently feeling out of alignment with what you need, it might not be the right match.
Like most relationships, you may “click” right away or take a few sessions to see how you feel. Research demonstrates that the quality of the relationship with your therapist is the strongest predictor of treatment outcomes.
If at all possible, schedule some open blocks of time before and after your appointment.
Before your appointment, you may want to take some time to check in with yourself:
How have you been feeling? — physically, energetically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually?
What are you realizing/wondering about right now?
What are you proud of?
What is your capacity for addressing emotionally charged memories today?
What wants to be heard, explored, or addressed in therapy today?
Please know: you do not need to show up prepared for therapy. These are things that can also be explored in the session. Sometimes, it may be hard to know up from down and talking it through with the support of your therapist may be just what’s needed.
After your appointment, you may need some time to rest, feel, and care for yourself. Of course, therapy can bring up some intense emotional responses and realizations. I often feel tender and a bit exposed, like an apple without her peel. Here are some ways you can support yourself after therapy:
Let yourself physically feel the emotions that came up in the session and eventually express or channel them in a healthy way
Journal about what stood out to you from this session. What do you want to remember/put into practice?
Rest! Your whole mind body system is able to process and integrate from a resting place. If you feel called to lay down, take a bath, a nap, or meditate, enjoy that beautiful rest. Recovery is essential.
Take good care of yourself — what healthy sources of comfort and care can you reach for? My favourite question from my therapist Lisa: What will sustain you?
If you’re finding therapy challenging, but want to continue — how can you reward yourself for your bravery in turning towards the hard/heavy emotions you carry? There’s nothing wrong with a little treat…
If you don’t ever or always have the luxury of this extra time to cushion your appointment, that’s okay. When can you reflect on your therapy journey? In the car? In the shower? You can also ask for some time to re-acclimate to the world towards the end of your session if needed.
Therapy is hard enough, please — get comfortable.
The more comfortable you are, the more capacity you may have for care and connection (see: the nervous system). Comfy clothing, blankets, slippers, soft lighting, your favourite tea - go for it! Pull in comfort in any ways you have available to you. Double down on coziness. Delight your senses. Why not?
PS. Yes, you can lay down. Yes, you can move and fidget. Yes, you can doodle. If you need a break or some silence, please ask.
Reflect on what you’re healing for:
You may know what you are healing from, but do you know what you are healing for?
What makes life worth living? What do you love, value, and cherish? What kind of life do you dream of — how do you want to feel? What kind of a world do you want to live in?
I often imagine doing the healing work that those further back in my family line couldn’t do. I imagine that my healing work is for all of us, and for the new family that I am creating. I heal to bring more warmth, care and connection into my own life, and thus, the world. We don’t have control over everything, or even a lot of things, but what agency do we have to create the life we dream of?
How can you remind yourself of the purpose of this work? Are there photos you want to gather? Notes/cards from loved ones? Sacred items?
Tend to your body & basic needs as the foundation.
This may be obvious to some, yet it’s challenging for so many of us for so many reasons. Sleep, nutrition, movement, time outside, time with loved ones — what does your body need to function? This will support your overall health and your capacity for therapeutic work.
No need for perfectionism here — do what you can and be gentle with yourself when these things are out of reach. The goal is to value and tend to our basic needs, not to get it “right”.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions or let us know what isn’t working
If there’s anything you don’t understand, please ask! You are not expected to have background knowledge in the topics being discussed. Unfortunately, many of us learn about our emotional experience for the first time in therapy. Of course it is confusing, but please remember: it’s okay to be a beginner (welcome!), and there are no stupid questions.
Do we need to switch directions? Please, let us know what’s coming up! Yes, we have our degrees and whatnot but you are the expert of your own experience. Your feedback should be welcomed by your therapist.
Want to learn more about what you’re discussing in therapy?
Ask us for our book or podcast recommendations! A lot of us are doing additional reading and listening on the topics being discussed in therapy. This can also be a great way to supplement the therapy process if you’re not able to attend sessions as often as you’d like.
Please, be patient with yourself
Healing takes time. And - are you ready for this one? — it’s… not linear. If we’re really digging in, therapy is messy work. One of the most uncomfortable parts of therapy is when we have built the awareness of our history, our patterns — but we aren’t ready or able to change them yet. We are doing the thing we wish to do no longer, and we’re aware of the havoc being wreaked. Ouchie! What a conundrum!
Be patient with yourself and know that the action we are working towards does not come in one fell-swoop. Usually, we do not overhaul everything overnight. For so many reasons, we often can’t. If we’re up against survival patterns, our bodies have pretty good reasons for not throwing these to the wind. Because, well… survival 🤪. The action comes in a million tiny decisions made differently, and these stack up enough to change the trajectory of our lives.
How many steps does it take to climb a mountain? Soooo many. The good news is that you are already on your way.
Take breaks and enjoy your life
Listen, there is such thing as over-examination. Sometimes we just need to live. You can take the time to live into the changes you’ve made. Enjoy the view! Prioritize your hobbies.
If you want to take a break or end therapy, I highly recommend discussing this with your therapist with advanced notice. We can help you to summarize the work you’ve done and send you off with all the tools you need to make steps on your own. We’ll be cheering you on from the sidelines. 👏🏻✨
About The Author:
I’m Cassie (she/her). Since 2018, I have been working with trauma survivors of all kinds to reconnect with their needs and dreams, as a trauma-informed yoga teacher, yoga therapist and a registered psychotherapist (qualifying).
If you’re interested in exploring sessions, please email me at cassie@shinementalhealth.co or reach out here.
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Receive free weekly resources for holistic trauma recovery here.
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